How do I plan summer for my child?

Tips for parents of 3- to 8-year-olds - Audio Recording w/ extra feedback now available for Paid Subscribers

If you’re a parent of a child between the ages of 3 to 8, then you might be wondering how to make the most out of the summer months. School (or preschool) is out, schedules are thrown off, and suddenly there are hours to fill each day. It can feel like a lot of pressure.

For the parents I work with, this season brings up a mix of excitement and stress. It’s a chance to spend more time together, yes. But it also brings questions like, how do I keep my child engaged? What do I plan for them? Am I doing enough?

It’s normal to feel this way. But what I want to emphasize here — and what I remind the parents I work with often — is that summer doesn’t need to be “perfect.” It doesn’t have to be packed with activities every single day. In fact, for many children, the most meaningful moments come from just being together.

Today, let's talk about how to maximize your summer with your child(ren) without getting burnt out yourself.

​The pressure to maximize summer break

Summer break often comes with a lot of societal pressure, especially for parents of young children. You might feel like you need to make sure your child keeps learning, stays social, and doesn’t “fall behind.” I get it. But I also want to give you permission to let some of that go.

Some days will be full of activities. Maybe you’ll sign up for a camp or take a trip to the library, zoo, museum, etc. Other days will be slower, like spending time outside or letting your child watch a show while you get a break. Both types of days are valid. Both are okay.

What matters more than a packed summer schedule is the chance to be present, even for small, "mundane" moments. Your child doesn’t need perfection… they just need you! They need some structure, some freedom, and a whole lot of opportunities to play and connect. Oh, and dare I say, they need moments to just be bored!

Tips for having a great summer with your child

Here are some practical ideas to help you plan a summer that works for you and your family — without feeling overwhelmed.

Keep routines consistent

Young children feel safer and more secure when they know what to expect. Summer doesn’t have to mean total chaos, even if school is no longer a determining how you spend your day. And in fact, keeping a few things the same can actually help your days run more smoothly over the summer and when you transition back to school in the fall.

Stick to a general wake-up time and bedtime, even if it shifts a little later than the school year. Try to keep meals at regular times. Keep your nighttime routine the same — i.e., bath, books, cuddles, lights out.

A consistent routine helps children know what’s coming, and that predictability gives them the mental space to explore, be creative, and stay regulated, which means the potential for less meltdowns.

Find unique opportunities for learning

Your child doesn’t only need worksheets or intense tutoring to learn. You can keep their brain active just by tapping into what they already love. And summer can be a great opportunity to shift “learning” to something that can be fun.

For example, if your child loves dinosaurs, check out books from the library or find a dino documentary to watch together. If they’re obsessed with water play, set up an outdoor area where they can safely play with water and some of their favorite toys. If you are able to be present with them and they’re constantly asking questions — lean into it. Be curious together.

Set aside time for bonding
Summer can be a great time to reconnect. But as most of us as parents have realized, that only happens when we make space for it. It doesn’t matter if you work full-time or you’re home with your children this summer. Strive to carve out some intentional one-on-one time when you can. And, leave the guilt behind. It doesn't have to be a whole day of one-on-one time.

It could be talking as you are having lunch together, walking the dog together, playing in the bathtub during bath time, etc.
Perhaps you schedule a standing breakfast "date" on Saturday/Sunday mornings. Maybe it’s reading an extra book at bedtime. It doesn’t have to be big, expensive, or extensive.

Make bucket lists and goals
Before the summer starts, or if you are reading this and it has already started, sit down together and come up with a list of fun summer things you want to do and your child want to do. You can have one list or two separate lists but let your child take the lead — even if it’s something you may not agree with like “eat 5 popsicles in a row.” That’s okay! Creating a list is more about getting an idea for what a fun summer looks like for them as well as giving them a felt sense of control and having fun.

If you end up making a list that you both like, consider making it into an art activity by writing it out on a white board or decorating a poster and hanging it on the fridge, in their room or wherever else you and your child(ren) want it up. By doing so, it also affords you an opportunity to check off the activities as you go and also frees up some of your own brain space from having to think about what to do. Think of it like a Grocery list.

Lastly, it can be a great way to stay intentional while also making space for fun.

Connect with community
Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. One of the best things you can do during summer is to connect with other parents or loved ones and plan some low-key playdates or park meetups.

Consider reaching out to that other parent from your child’s school or daycare that you always meant to connect with. You might even take turns with other parents to watch a group of children once a week, if you feel comfortable with that.

By becoming more social with other parents, it not only gives your child a chance to be social, but it can also keep you informed about community events and gives you a break, too.

It’s okay to need other adults and building your community of parent support is essential to making parent life more easy than doing it all on your own.

Parenting workshops and therapy
The main thing I want you to take away from this post is that I want you to give yourself permission to be imperfect.

Some days you’ll nail it. Other days you’ll hand your child their electronic device or let them watch seemingly endless amounts of TV while you disconnect and "hide in the bathroom for 10 minutes". That’s okay. That’s real life. And, I've been there, done that.
Your role as a parent is to keep showing up and doing the best that you can.

Lastly, I am in the final stages of putting together a free workbook for parents called "Realistic Parenting - A Practical Guide for Parents" which is aimed at reducing parent guilt and shame. To receive your free PDF workbook when it is completed (end of June 2025), sign up here.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you and your little one(s) find your version of a good summer together. 💛

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Christine M. Valentín is a Registered Play Therapist™ who helps children 3-8 reduce their tantrums, Parents- improve their parenting skills and Adults - reduce their worry about an aging parent. As a Latina therapist, with 15 years of private practice experience, Christine loves helping people become a more confident version of themselves and develop better relationships within their family. To read her other blog posts, click here. Christine is also passionate about educating parents and mental health professionals. To learn about upcoming workshops, click here.

Disclaimer: I am a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), but this newsletter is not therapy and does not create a clinical relationship. Content is for informational and educational purposes only. If you need support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.

Lastly, if you are a paid subscriber, enjoy the 19 minute audio recording below, which includes some more feedback and validation on managing the summer break.